2020, A Year of Failed Expectations

I want a house with a crowded table

And a place by the fire for everyone

Let us take on the world while we’re young and able

And bring us back together when the day is done

The Highwomen

These song lyrics from The Highwomen were sung at a Church I visited in February and I think these lyrics ring so true for 2020. We are all craving to be around a crowded table with our friends and families again and we have taken on the world, whether that be with marches or protests or elections or petitions or phone calls or tweets or conversations with people with different opinions. We have taken on the world and we are all ready to be brought back together around a crowded table with our people. 

2020, you sucked. And I wanted you to be so, so good. After the 2019 I had, I wanted you to be my redeeming year. I wanted 2020 to be the year that I found myself. I wanted 2020 to be the year my 2019 wasn’t. But yet 2020 you somehow failed every almost expectation I had set. 

If you know me you know that I had a shitty 2019 ( Read about it here 2019 Sucked) and I wanted to redeem myself in 2020. I wanted to my 2020 to be full of traveling, meeting new people, trying new coffee all over the country, hiking mountains, and riding rollercoasters. I wanted 2020 to be a year of growth and happiness for me. Instead 2020 became a year of political debates, death, civil rights outcries, mask-wearing, social distancing, etc. It became a year full of unknown and a year of hurting. So much hurt happened in 2020 but I think one that stands out the most is the hurting that the Black community felt this year. 

George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Daniel Prude, Rayshard Brooks, Jamarri Daiwon Tarver, Tyree Davis, Tina Marie Davis, Brandon Dionte Roberts, Kwame Jones, Gamel Antonio Brown. Say Their Names. These are just 10 of the over 100 Black Lives that were maliciously taken by police in 2020 alone. Their lives mattered. If someone commits a crime police officers have no right to murder them. Some of the names on this list did not even commit crimes, they were just racially profiled and murdered because of the color of their skin. We all need to say #BlackLivesMatter. 

In March COVID took over the world like something we have never experienced in our lives. In the past 9 months we lost over 307k American lives and over 17 million Americans have suffered from COVID-19, 17 million Americans and counting will have life long medical and emotional consequences from this Pandemic because our Political Leaders and President failed to recognize the seriousness of it and put American lives in danger. 

The facts with COVID are easy, the President knew the seriousness of the virus and did nothing. We see other countries like New Zealand who have lifted all COVID restrictions because their Government and Leaders listened to the scientist & Doctors and listened to the facts and now they have eradicated COVID from their country. America makes up about 5% of the world population but we make up 23% of the worlds COVID cases and 18% of the worlds COVID deaths, this is ridiculous for one of the most developed countries in the world. 

Now 2020 was not all bad for me, I had some good things come out of an otherwise shitty year. Let’s rundown some good of 2020: 2 of my siblings got married this year and I gained a sister and a brother (shoutout to Ashley and Jake). I got a promotion at work that I have been working my ass off for the past year. I have finally gotten my meds under control and found a therapist that I love. I’ve started baking more which is so soothing I found out. I got a new kitten, love you Waverly! I have met new friends at work. I have met new friends through their car windows and political conversations at Chick-fil-A, this one was very surprising and very much appreciated. I visited a Church in Nashville and felt closer and more connected to God than before. And with about a week and half left I have managed to dodge COVID while working full-time as an “essential employee” (which is a whole other discussion). 

So much more happened in 2020 that I fit in this little 7 paragraph post, I could write so much more about 2020 but I don’t think anyone would read 100 paragraphs of my opinions on 2020 so I will stop it here. 

So 2020 I bid you adieu and 2021 I welcome you with very little expectations, lots of grace, and a bit of hope.