There has been debate in the Christian community recently about the relationship between David and Jonathan. Conservative Christians say that their relationship was nothing more than a platonic friendship, while Progressive Christians say that these following verses point towards a romantic relationship between the two.
The verses in question: 1 Samuel 18:1-5, 1 Samuel 20:17, 2 Samuel 1:26, and 2 Samuel 9.
I’m going to start off with the verses that I think is the most compelling.
1 Samuel 18:1-5 says: “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. 2 From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. 3 And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 4 Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt. 5 Whatever mission Saul sent him on, David was so successful that Saul gave him a high rank in the army. This pleased all the troops, and Saul’s officers as well.” (NIV)
In verse 1 Samuel says that David and Johnathan became one is spirit with each other. This is very similar to the marriage covenant that Matthew speaks of in Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (NIV) The only difference between these two covenants is the David and Johnathan’s is that their’s is defined as a spiritual covenant. Verse 2 says that Saul kept David in his own house and would not let him return home to his own family, which is similiar to what happens when a other marriage occurs in the Bible, a spouse will leave their family and join their spouses family after a marriage covenant.
In 1 Samuel 20:17 it says ”And Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him, for he loved him as he loved his own soul.” (ESV)
The word love that is used here is ’a·hă·ḇaṯ or אַהֲבַ֥ת in Hebrew and this form of love is only used in one other verse in the Bible. In Jeremiah 2, Jeremiah says “ ‘I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the wilderness through a land not sown’. (NIV)” This is the only other time the Bible uses this form of love. This is the love the men of Israel should have only for their brides and the LORD. So we see that the people of Israel have this love for their bride, it only makes sense that the love David swears to Johnathan is a romantic love. The same love a man would have for his bride, David has for his groom.
In 2 Samuel 1:26 it says “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” (NIV)
The word love that is used here is אהבתך or ’a·hă·ḇā·ṯə·ḵā which is only used this one time in the Bible. It is understand based on other historical texts that this word is used in a romantic way because it is also been translated to the word affection, or the love that a spouse has for their spouse, or a love that makes us blind to our lovers faults.
2 Samuel 9 speaks about David adopting Johnathans son Mephibosheth. After Johnathans death David goes to the house of Saul to see if there is anyone remaining of Saul and Johnathans family that he can show mercy on. He is brought Johnathans son Mephibosheth. David takes him into his home; he invites him to his famlies table and Mephibosheth inherits land from David. David brings in Mephibosheth as his own kin.
Adoption in the Bible is generally done by family members; Esther was adopted by her Uncle, Jesus was adopted by Joseph, and Jacob adopts his grandsons. Other types of adoptions we see were either for infertility or when Pharaoh’s daughter adopted Moses. So in the context it makes sense that David adopted Mephibosheth as his own kin, because Johnathan was his kin.
I am not an expert in theology, but I did use Hebrew translations of the Bible, translated them using old Hebrew context and translations, and reviewed other passages in the Bible where the words were used. And I encourage you to do research on this yourselves.
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